Another day another thought

My thoughts never are far way from my self demise. Oh, I make go a week or two but the thoughts of me killing my self are always a sleeve's length away. I turned ;63 years of age 8 days ago and I been pretty much consumed with sucidial ideatations since Set. 8th, 1986. Today is the 9th of September and they are close at hand. Who knows I may never kill my self but it won't be because of lack of thinking about it and on occassion makin a very serious attempt. Today is another day and another thought on how I could fianlly get the job done. Whiskey and 300 asprin would go along way to accomplish that thoguht. A gun would be quicker, with less of chance to back out. Oh yes another day...