Here we are once again. I have been journaling sporadically and felt like it benefited yesterday. I visited my therapist yesterday and felt fairly satisfied with my feelings shifting upward afterward.

I am about a month out of being total free of psych medications, first time in 22+ years. I really don't feel any different. In last day or so I have experienced some mild depression. I say it's my depression kicking in when I started having thoughts of killing my self. So far I am able to keep them at bay. I am trying to keep them from nesting, when they do so they take on a life of their own.  When that happens I ended up with a suicide attempt or friends & maybe family take measures to land me in psych hospital. My busy time of the year is coming up and over the last 24 years I have been hospitalized closer to 20 times after I finish my last cartoon. I have tried to explain to myself why I continue and of course it's the money coming in first and then probably the fame which has gone with it the last 40+ years. I am semi-large fish in a small pond of around 18,000.
Its the main reason I think I keep on living. Of course the over abundance of the creative genes I create during the months of August and September will probably end up killing me anyway.

Over the years I have latched on to any self help item thrown in my direction, don't so much any more. Although I did end up going through a depression workshop bought for me by a good friend this spring.  t went well at first then I became suicidal and finally ended up in a psych hospital in Boise. Stomach problems began plaguing me about that time. I subsequently have lost 30 pounds and am continuing to lose. In Boise the doctors there tried to pin down what the cause was or is. When I came home the first of June and have gone to several specialists and had numerous medical tests. To no avail, the last specialist stated my problem is "Manageable Nausea". I have figure how to mange it if indeed it is. I never know when some food may be too much causing excruciating nausea. Last week I pass out in my bathroom after about 15 minutes of heaving I woke up to an ankle which I thought be broken jammed up against a wall in my very bathroom. It turned out not to be broken but it is definitely hindering my daily constitutional walk which seems to help my mental health. Well,... that does it for now.